


Will Jane ever know?

by KaaatieLucy



Category: Rizzles - Fandom, Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-29
Updated: 2012-03-29
Packaged: 2017-11-02 16:55:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/371266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaaatieLucy/pseuds/KaaatieLucy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I suck at summmarys...Maura struggles with her feelings toward Jane. Maura has a pregnancy scare I figure that needs to be in the summary... It is rated explicit for sex in 2-3 chapters.<br/>This is multi-chapter, I cba to post several different chapters, so it is just one looooong story split up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Will Jane ever know?

A/N  
Disclaimer:I don't own anything, apart from Kate in SVU, i did create her:)  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
As Maura heard the lift doors close and the sound of heels walk quickly down the corridor she began to get excited, she knew who was coming to her office. Maura heard Jane try to slip through the morgue doors, and suddenly Jane's face appeared at the door. Jane gave Maura a sultry look and motioned for her to be silent. Jane swept gracefully behind the door, shut it and flicked the lock. Maura figured after last time when Frost walked in, it was probably best they locked the door. As she remembered the incident and smiled, Jane was already getting naked. She pretty much tore through her buttons and threw away her tank top, revealing a sexy red and black lace bra underneath, Maura began to wonder if the downstairs matched. Jane wandered to Maura's side of the desk and kissed her softly on the cheek, before throwing herself into Maura's lip in a long hard kiss. Jane got to work on Maura's dress while they were kissing and before long Maura was stood, pressed up against the wall in her black lace underwear and heels. Jane stopped kissing Maura and began to kiss down her neck, then to her chest and finally stopped where the lace of her underwear finished. Jane could see already that Maura's underwear was ruined so she slipped them over her knees and picked them up off the floor, casting them off into the corner of the room. Maura moved to retrieve them, she hated a messy office, but Jane pulled her back and got her focused again simply by taking two fingers and tracing on the inside of Maura's thighs, she moaned softly and Jane began to lick around her clit, hearing Maura's moans of approval Jane took two fingers and quickly thrust them into Maura, she squealed loudly, which soon turned in moaning. Jane began to thrust quickly and Maura could feel herself beginning to come, Jane also knew this and began to tease Maura by thrusting slower, who kneed Jane in the chest gently and Jane began quickly again.  
"Jane, I'm gonna-"  
Maura's speech was cut off by Jane who used her free hand to reach up and draw a finger across Maura's lip causing her to stop speaking. Jane knew that Maura was close now and began sucking Maura's clit which she knew would send her over the edge.  
Maura's moaning was the only noise to be heard in the room until "Jane I'm about to-"

 

"Maura, you awake yet?"  
Maura recognized Jane's voice across her flat and quickly switched her vibrator of and threw it under her pillow. Keeping her eyes closed she threw a blanket over herself and threw her arm over her pillow so it looked like she was asleep. She heard Jane wander through the flat and eventually open the bedroom door.  
"Maura! Get up."  
Maura slowly opened her eyes and tried to seem half asleep. She saw Jane standing at the door with a cup of coffee and a cinnamon bagel. Maura wondered if she was in heaven, but figured since Jane wasn't naked in her bed, it probably wasn't.  
"Morning, rough night?" Questioned Jane  
Maura shook her head "no, just a long one" she responded.  
Jane passed her the coffee and placed the bagel on the side before walking out the room. Maura heard Jane feeding Bass and figured she should probably get up and supervise; Jane was bound to do it wrong. Maura figured she could finish her dream later.

Sitting in the car Jane knew something was wrong; Maura kept glancing at her, trying to be sneaky.  
"Maur, what's up? You seem different?" Jane questioned.  
"I'm just tired I guess"  
"Tired! It was 10:30 when I got you awake finally?"  
Maura didn't respond for a while, she looked longingly at Jane, hoping she would dig deeper for an answer, Jane did not, so she turned her head away from Jane and watched out the window as they sped through Boston.

The lift doors swung open on Jane's floor, the moment Maura had wanted to delay. Jane stepped out of the lift and shot Maura a concerned look. The pair hadn't spoke since Jane mention Maura's sleeping pattern.  
"Are you going to be ok today Maur? You seem too quiet? You coming down with something?"  
"No, big case I guess, lot of stress, you know?"  
With that Maura pressed the button for the morgue and watched Jane's face disappear behind the silver doors. Maura sighed and watched the lift numbers decrease till she got to the basement and watched the doors swing open again, to reveal the morgue. Maura walked solemnly through the morgue towards her office. She closed her office door, made coffee and began to contemplate how she would deal with her situation with Jane.

Jane watched Maura press the button for the morgue and then watched her friend's face disappear as the doors slammed shut. Jane thought about the conversation for a few seconds, but disregarded it as stress, like Maura had said there probably was a big case in. Jane walked in the squadroom and found herself alone in there. She presumed frost was probably out getting coffee or something. She sat down and began to work.

As lunch time came around Maura began to miss Jane and figured that this morning's conversation was probably forgotten about, so she decided to text Jane and see if she fancied some lunch with her. Jane responded that she would love it and Maura grabbed her coat and headed for the cafe for some sandwiches.

Jane sat in Maura's office and began eating her lunch in silence. Maura watched Jane for a moment but began to feel awkward so Maura decided to end the silence.

"So...I heard that Kate down in SVU is gay...didn't see that coming-" Maura chuckled unevenly as she waited for Jane's response. Jane looked up at Maura, shocked to see she had broken the silence, but Jane was willing to gossip as usual and the conversation flowed easily from there. Much to Maura's disappointment the conversation steered fairly quickly away from Kate and women liking women, so Maura had missed her opportunity to find a point in the conversation to tell Jane how she felt and before she knew it, lunch was over for Jane and she had left. Maura held her head in her hands and sighed. At this rate Jane would never know how she felt...

Chapter 2

Climbing into her car at the end of the day Maura wondered if she had missed her chance completely. She thought maybe she should just tell Jane how she felt? Get it over with, like ripping off a bandage but she could lose her friend if Jane didn't reciprocate. She figured that maybe there was no point continuing the friendship if she couldn't be with her, it would eventually become awkward. Maura considered different ways she could say it but was interrupted by Jane getting in the car whining about her day as usual.  
"God. What a day! Frost had me going through phone records all freakin' day! This girl made so many phones calls to her friends? There was like 20 calls one week to the same girl? She needs to get out of her house and go see this girl."  
"Wow, sounds rough..."  
"You have no idea"  
The pair sat in silence as Maura started the car and pulled out of the parking lot and on to the main road.  
Maura drove for a while, considering if now would be the best time to say anything. She drove down Jane's street and stopped in front of her building. Jane paused before she got out of car, looking at her friend. Jane patted Maura's thigh in a comforting way and silently got out of the car, walked up the path to her door and went inside. Maura watched Jane through the window, Jane walked through her flat and Maura watched her grab a beer and head towards her bedroom. Maura sat in her car and sobbed. Maura sat and sobbed for a while before she heard her custom ring tone for Jane. Shit. Maura panicked and wiped her eyes and answered her phone.  
"Jane? What's up?"  
"Maura, don't try and play me off? I can see you crying in your car? Do you want to come in?"  
"Oh, yeah, no, it's nothing important-"  
"Maur, if you're sat in front of my flat crying in your car, it's probably important. I have some wine in the fridge; we can sit here and talk it over all night of you want?"  
Maura sat and thought for a minute.  
"Yeah, actually i think that would be really great, I'll be there in a half a minute" And Maura snapped her phone shut and looked over to Jane who was standing by the window, Maura shot her a thank you smile and nod and Jane moved to the fridge for the wine. Maura touched up her make up a little before getting out of the car and heading for the door.

Jane and Maura chatted about everything that night, but once again Maura didn't have a chance to steer the conversation the way she wanted. But the conversation kept flowing and so Maura thought nothing of it, happy just to have this interaction. By the time Jane finished talking and the conversation came to natural lull, it was 11:23 pm and Maura had drunk too much wine to drive home, Maura insisted she would get a cab, but Jane was in charge and made Maura sleep in her bed and Jane would sleep on her couch. Jane could tell Maura had drunk way too much because Jane had to hold on to her and walk her to Jane's room. Jane put Maura on her bed and went to get some pyjamas for Maura. Jane watched Maura drunkenly try to take off her shirt and stopped her. Jane laughed quietly at her friend and helped her get undressed; she put the pyjamas on Maura and helped her into bed. Jane shut off the lamp and sat on the bed for a minute, Maura watched her with drunken, childlike eyes. Maura thought about it, as drunk as she was, she thought now would be the best time to tell Jane, and as she contemplated how to say it Jane leaned in, Jane went for a hug, Maura misinterpreted. Maura went for a kiss. Maura's lips crashed with Jane's and Maura panicked, but continued kissing Jane timidly. Jane also panicked, but kissed back, unaware that Maura had felt this way towards Jane. Jane knew that Maura was gay, it wasn't hard to see, but Jane thought she had hid her feelings for Maura so well. Jane decided that Maura had drunk too much to make clear decisions. Jane pulled away and swept quickly off the bed and towards the door. Maura looked blankly at Jane, but then Jane closed the door, Maura swore, and then lay down to contemplate what had happened. Maura lay there for a while; it was nearly 2am when Maura figured out what she had to do. Maura sat up, grabbed her things and headed for the door before turning on her heel and writing Jane a quick note then Maura tiptoed through Jane's flat and she saw Jane snoring softly on the couch. Maura opened the door and walked out into the street. She walked out towards the main street and hailed a cab. She sat silently on the drive back to her place and once she was home she climbed into her bed and cried herself to sleep.

When Jane heard her alarm go off in her bedroom, she sleepily got up and went to make coffee for her and Maura, but after a while Jane realised that her alarm was still going off, confused as to why Maura hadn't turned it off, Jane wandered into her bedroom and was surprised to see and empty bed. Jane looked down at the bed properly and found a note from Maura.  
Jane,

I'm sorry for last night, i was drunk, i wasn't thinking straight.

I'll see you around.  
Sorry.

Maura.

Jane threw the letter down and marched to her phone, she punched in Maura's number but she didn't answer. Jane tried several times throughout the morning but couldn't get an answer, eventually the call went straight to voicemail. Jane presumed Maura had probably had enough and switched off her phone. Jane gave up and went to work.

Maura was awoken by the sound of her phone ringing in the corner of the room, she sat up as if to go and check it, but she realised by the ringtone it was Jane. Maura guessed that Jane had found the note and wanted to talk, or maybe Jane had simply noticed she was missing. Either way nothing in the world could make her get up and talk to Jane. Maura stayed in bed until 3:13pm when she knew she had to get up and take a shower. Whilst in the shower Maura heard her phone go off, it was Jane again and again Maura ignored it. Once she had done showering Maura called into work and explained that she had a migraine and wouldn't be into work for a few days. Maura checked the fridge for wine and chocolate, then the cupboards, then the pantry but found nothing, she knew there was something she needed to pick up last night. All she wanted was chocolate, wine and a good film...with her best friend, but since Jane wasn't an option Maura decided to throw some clothes on, but as she stared in to her closet she didn't want to dress up in her usual dress and heels, she didn't feel like it. She walked to the back of her closet and searched through some drawers She checked the time,(3:56pm) knew Jane would still be working, then grabbed her keys and headed to the store.

Jane knew she couldn't leave Maura alone, at half 3 Jane shut down her computer, clocked out and decided to go to Maura's. Driving out of the parking lot Jane thought she should maybe bring some wine, to ease the situation, so she quickly turned round and headed for the store.  
One Jane arrived at the store she quickly darted towards the wine aisle, Jane flicked round the corner with such speed she ran straight into someone, in a rush she brushed herself off and apologized without taking time to notice who it was.  
Chapter 3

Maura got to the store and looked through some films, deciding on some 'happy' films and some 'depressing' ones, that way she could watch one dependant on the mood she was in. She wandered through the store and grabbed chocolate and then headed for the wine and beer aisle. She grabbed some beers and then realised, the only reason she ever got beer was for Jane. Maura sighed and put them back, she headed for the more expensive wines and grabbed several bottles of her favourite, she planned on being very drunk for the next few days. She headed for the checkout and as she turned the corner she ran into someone. She brushed herself off and kept moving, as did the other women. As Maura rounded the corner, she realised she recognised the perfume of the other woman, and her voice sounded familiar? Maura turned back around the corner and watched as Jane picked out a bottle of Maura's favourite wine. Maura panicked and exclaimed. Jane heard something and spun round, but Maura moved just in time. Jane went back to thinking about something and Maura basically ran to the checkout, she wasn't ready to have this conversation yet. Maura paid and headed for her car. As she was leaving she thought she heard someone yell her, she spun round, but saw Jane at the checkout and decided she couldn't hang around to figure out who it was.

 

3 days later...

Jane had spent the past few days phoning Maura and going to the house. After Jane had seen her at the store and Maura hadn't responded when she yelled Jane figured she probably wasn't in the mood so Jane left it.

Maura woke up on the Monday morning knowing that the day was going to end badly. She had told her boss she'd be in today, which meant seeing Jane. Even if she could dodge her for a few hours or even days, she'd have to see her eventually. Maura got out of bed and took a long hot shower, somehow feeling better after. She got dressed, made coffee and head out for work. She drove into the parking lot searching for Jane's car, feeling relieved when she didn't see it. She went inside as if she was on a secret mission, scanning around all the corners. She got to her desk and it was a while before she realised she hadn't eaten yet. She figured maybe she could just skip breakfast, but her stomach churned and gurgled, a sign to say no. Maura scanned her office for a cereal bar or anything to stave off hunger and avoid the canteen. When she didn't find anything she took the plunge and headed for the canteen.

Jane had gotten information from Maura's boss that Maura would be back on Monday. So when Jane heard her alarm go off Monday morning Jane basically hopped out of bed and into the shower. Jane spent an extra few minutes in the shower, washing extra hard, as if it would make a difference on how she looked today. She spent a little while choosing her clothes, although she still wanted to wear her usual work clothes, she chose some that fit a little better, ones that accentuated the right areas. She made some coffee, grabbed her phone and keys off the countertop and went to work. Although Jane was annoyed at herself for being a little late for work, it meant that Maura would probably already be there, and as luck would have it Jane found Maura's car and parked right next to it. Jane dropped by the canteen for a minute, greeted her Mom and munched quickly through some French toast and eggs. Then as she got up to leave she could have sworn she saw Maura join the line for breakfast, but she figured Maura was always harping on about having a good, healthy breakfast at home to start the day, so she left and thought nothing more of it.

Jane had been in a relatively excited mood all morning, she could finally have 'that' conversation with Maura, but as she hit the button for the Morgue she could feel herself getting more and more nervous. The lift doors swung open and Jane began to feel quite shaky, this was going to be the moment she told Maura. Jane tried to seem confident as she marched up to Maura's door and she even tried to make her knock sound 'bold'. Jane waited patiently for Maura to allow her in, but Jane got no response from the other side of the door. Jane figured that she was perhaps on the phone and Jane knew how much Maura hated talking to other people whilst on the phone, so Jane figured she'd let herself in, but when Jane opened to door, to her surprise was an empty office. Jane thought about the possible reasons, but coming up relatively black Jane left a quick note, that way Maura would get it ASAP.

Hey Maur,

Look, about the other night, I think we need to chat.  
I've literally just about to leave your office (Monday, 10:04AM)  
When you get this, come up and see me? I can't make lunch for a few days, Frost's got me working a big case at the moment, I should probably get back up there now, and you know how he gets? Remember that one time- never mind, I'm rambling, come see me? Like I said, we have to chat.

Jane xx

Jane signed the letter with her name, considered it and then added two kisses, to show that the letter was meant kindly. Jane folded the letter and addressed it to Maura and then left. She pretty much jogged to the squad room; Frost was going to kill her.

Chapter 4

Maura got back to her office flustered. She'd spotted Korsak on the stairs and she'd basically run to avoid the awkward 'how are you? Where have you been?' conversations. She closed the door and went to her desk, she found the note from Jane* and read it in a stunned silence, she knew she couldn't avoid the situation any more. She ate her bagel and fruit then drank the remains of her hazelnut latte. She managed to spend 20 minutes doing this and then she stood up, fixed her make-up and outfit then walked out the door.  
Maura was a nervous wreck the whole way up to Jane's office and she pressed the wrong button 3 times, each time only noticing when she walked out onto the wrong floor. Finally she managed to get to the right floor. She walked out of the lift and headed towards the squad room, she could see Jane sitting there alone in the room. Maura watched her for a moment, enjoying watching Jane in a rare unguarded moment, it was rare. Maura realised that all she was doing was procrastinating. She stopped watching Jane and tried to walk confidently through the squad room doors.

Jane was reading through phone logs for her latest case, she was bored as anything but she was sure there was something here, somewhere. She saw something out of the corner of her eye move, and being as trained as she was, she picked up her gun and spun to face her attacker, only to find Maura standing there looking terrified. Maura squealed and Jane immediately put down her gun and took Maura into her arms, soothing her scared friend. For a few moments the two of them forgot everything, what had happened wasn't important. For those few moments Maura didn't care. But of course, those few moments couldn't last. Maura tore away from the hug, looking uncomfortable, Jane watched awkwardly and confused.

"Maura! You got my note I see?"  
"Yes, I received a letter"  
"Well..."  
The pair shifted uncomfortably at the concept of discussing the issue.  
"Look Jane, I'm going to be blunt here. This conversation has to happen, but it's going to be an awkward one, i would suggest that we chat over wine, and in a place

where we know we won't be interrupted?"  
Jane agreed and the pair decided that they would meet after work at Maura's place, Jane would bring beer, if she wanted some, and Maura would bring wine.

Later that evening Maura had just sat down with her second glass of wine (She felt she needed a first to have the courage to even open the door later that night, it also was nice in the bath to have a glass) when the doorbell rang. Maura stood and straightened her dress. She walked to the door and there stood Jane with a six pack of beer and some pizza. Maura giggled and allowed Jane into the room.  
The pair avoided the conversation for a while, but when the chat came to a natural lull, Jane just figured she should rip off the bandage.  
"So...The other day, what happened?  
Maura paused before responding.  
"It's complicated Jane; I wish it was easy to just tell you everything."  
"Maura, you can! You've never had a filter problem before?"  
"I know, i know. God, i wish this weren't so difficult" Maura stood and began to pace.  
Jane began to panic, what if Maura knew how she felt? What if Maura wanted to stop being friends? She couldn't handle that?  
Maura began to see the panic in Jane's eyes. Maura looked at her questioningly. Jane stood up and stared Maura directly in the eyes,  
"Maura, i know you know"  
"You know, i know what?"  
"How I feel...I'm sorry! I though i hid it so much better!"  
"Jane, what are you on about?"  
"What? I thought you knew?"  
"KNEW WHAT JANE?"  
Jane stammered and sat down.  
"It, err, it doesn't matter."  
Maura sat down next to Jane and placed her hand on Jane's thigh comfortingly.  
"Look Jane, how do you feel?"  
Jane looked Maura in the eyes and took Maura's hand in hers.  
"Maura, i've been meaning to tell you for a while, I kinda-"  
"Kind of" Maura corrected. Jane looked at Maura disapprovingly; Maura apologized and allowed Jane to continue.  
"Maura, we've been friends for a while, and I didn't intend for this to happen..I-I think i'm kind of, maybe, sort of, possibly, could be, perhaps-"  
"Jane...I think i know where you're going with this."  
Maura leaned over to Jane and put her hands on Jane's back. Jane seemed confused, but within a few moments, she caught on. Jane leaned forward and closed her eyes, as did Maura; the two began to mentally prepare themselves for their first (sober) kiss. The distance between the two closed and when there were mere inches in-between the two of them, Jane's buzzed.  
"Damn it." Jane mumbled.  
"What Jane? Just leave you phone? We can just continue from where we left off?"  
"No, it's probably going to be Frost or Korsak. I'm on call, actually, come to think of it, you're on call two right?"  
"Yes, I am, I presume-"  
Maura was cut off by the sound of her phone buzzing on the counter top. The two exchanged looks then checked their phones and Jane decided to drive since she hadn't had anything to drink yet.

Chapter 5

When Maura and Jane arrived at the crime scene the pair had to split off. Maura snapped on her gloves and went to examine the scene, while Jane went to get updated. The pair went around the scene doing their jobs and it was after 11pm by the time the two of them could leave the crime scene. Maura moved to Jane's side and glanced casually at her. Jane turned to Maura looked pissed off.  
"Maura, I have to go"  
Maura looked confused and hurt.  
"Not like that you idiot!"  
Maura continued to look confused and hurt.  
"The boys are expecting me to go back to the station and do some reports and we might have some interrogations to do"  
"Oh, I see...I guess I'll go call a cab then?"  
Before Jane could respond she was called over to the other side of the scene. Jane shot Maura an 'I'm sorry' look before walking to over to whoever had called her. Maura threw off her gloves, grabbed her coat and headed out into the bitterly cold air. She knew they were on a side street so the chances of getting a cab were slim. She needed a drink and she knew a pub that was only a few streets away. She usually didn't drink, but after the evenings events she needed to block things out and have some fun.

9am the next morning

Jane had been phoning Maura all night, since the minute she got in at 3am till now. As Jane walked from her car towards Maura's house she contemplated what could be wrong. Jane's mind raced and she considered all the things she could have done wrong. Jane knocked on Maura's door and waited. She knocked again several times and waited still. Jane walked to the garage and peeked through the little window. Maura's Audi Spyder was parked alongside her other more used BMW X6. Jane knew that if Maura was going to work or if she had been out recently somewhere less 'flashy' the BMW would be parked facing the doors as Maura hated reversing out of her garage if she was in a rush, so when she was returning from somewhere, she reversed in for ease. Jane also knew the Audi would only be uncovered if she had been somewhere more expensive and flashy, so Jane was happy to see the Audi covered up. After Jane spent a while considering the point of Maura having different cars for different occasions she realised she was there for a reason.  
It was now nearing 9:20am and Jane knew she couldn't wait around any longer. She took one last glance at the outside of the house then got in her car and drove away.

It was near 10am when Maura awoke. She knew without looking that it was later than she usually woke for work. It was only after a couple of minutes of reflection of the night before that she noticed she wasn't alone in bed. Maura looked next to her and found a quite nice, muscular man lying next to her. Any other morning she would have congratulated herself for finding such a guy, and for bringing him home, but as she struggled to remember exactly what happened she began to panic. She and Jane hadn't even kissed yet, but she still felt like she had cheated. Maura reminded herself she did not know what had happened, but when she took the blankets away from hers and his bodies, she could pretty much confirm her suspicions. She sighed and headed for a shower. She made sure that she shut the bathroom pretty loud, and when she heard her male guest groan and cough she knew she'd woken him.

When Maura got out of the bathroom 30 minutes later her male guest was gone and a little note was left on her bed;

Hi,  
Sorry, i don't know your name, but i expect you don't know mine so we are even.  
Thanks for last night, I had a great time,  
You might be able to tell, I don't do this often, as I suspect neither do you, so I thought a little note was customary.  
Also, since I figure you don't do this often, if you are considering doing it again, You may want to consider shouting out the person's name your with, because I can assure you, as great as the sex was, having you yell out "Jane" was not the highlight of the night.

Once again thanks, and maybe i'll see you around sometime..

The note ended there and Maura cringed internally. She couldn't believe what she had done, and to call out Jane's name? She could quite happily have died. But thankfully she would hopefully never have to see this guy again. She threw out the note and hoped she could throw out the entire night just as easily.

Jane finished typing her last part of the report to go with the case from last night. She was quite happy with how it had turned out. Since it was a simple 'I didn't mean to shoot him' case, she knew that she probably wouldn't have to think about the case for a while. She decided that now was as good a time as ever to phone Maura. Jane whipped out her phone from its holster on her belt and hit 'M', the phone speed dialled Maura and Jane was pleasantly surprised to hear the phone ringing from in the hallway. Jane stepped out of the squadroom to find Maura walking towards her.  
"Oh, look who finally showed up" Jane teased.  
"Shut up. I had a long night" Maura shot back.  
"Well, shall we head down and get some lunch, since it is nearly 12:30?"  
Maura nodded and the pair headed down for some lunch.

Once the pair had lunch they headed back to Maura's office and sat in silence as they enjoyed their lunch. They finished quickly and Jane decided to address the elephant in the room.  
"So, last night..." she questioned.  
Maura didn't have time to say anything else because Jane had already left her seat and let her lips find Maura's. Maura stood and allowed Jane to kiss her more passionately. Jane walked forwards a little, pushing Maura against the wall. Jane kissed slowly down Maura's neck. Maura pulled away briefly, "Jane, I really want to do this, I do! But can you give me 5 minutes to freshen up? I smell like formaldehyde and death?" Jane nodded and left the room. The 5 minutes passed agonizingly slowly, but it gave to pair of them time to reflect on what was going to happen next. Jane counted down the seconds and finally she tapped three times on the office door and stepped inside. Even though Jane had been eagerly going over this next scene in her head for weeks, nothing could have prepared her for what lay in front of her. Maura had shifted her sofa to face the door, moved some chairs out of the way and thrown a rug down on the floor, presumably in case one of them fell of the sofa at some point. It took Jane a moment to realise that Maura was laid on the sofa...naked. Jane swung the door shut and clicked the lock before throwing off her own clothes also.

Chapter 5.5

Maura and Jane had been a couple for just over 1 month now and there was nothing but passion in the relationship. They couldn't get enough of each other. Jane spent pretty much every night at Maura's and most morning started the same. This one was no different.  
Maura woke Jane up by kissing her didn't spend long doing this activity before she ran her hand down Jane's back and slipped her thumbs into Jane's pyjama bottoms. Maura felt Jane smile into the kiss and Maura moved forward to the front of Jane's crotch and grabbed the front of them, pulling them down. Jane thought along the same lines and took off Maura top. Soon enough the pair were kissing on the bed in their underwear. Jane began kissing her way down Maura's neck until she reached the silky material of her bra, so Jane reached back and took it off before replacing the material with her lips. The two of them kissed over every part of skin they could find until there was only skin under material they wanted. Maura took her chances and straddled Jane. Maura quite enjoyed sitting there, watching Jane writhe uncomfortably, so aroused. However, Jane could see a completely different view from below. Jane had expected Maura to be doing roughly the same as what she was doing. Maura looked odd; she looked pale, too pale. She looked hot, but temperature hot. Maura knew something wasn't right, she'd been feeling a little ill all evening, but determined to push past it. Maura slipped hers and Jane's underwear off quickly and began to kiss down Jane's body again, avoiding anything below the belt, purposefully. Jane slid her hands up and down Maura's back; she then took each hand and placed them on her thighs. Jane shifted slightly, uncomfortable. Jane regretted this move immediately, because although it had not been a great shift of her body, it did the job. Maura looked up startled, panic clear in her eyes. Maura clamped her hand over her mouth, untangled her limbs from Jane's and made a dash for the bathroom. Maura quickly emptied the contents of her stomach, and was sitting hugging the toilet when Jane appeared at the door with a blanket and a glass of water. Jane slipped the blanket round Maura's shoulders and rubbed circles round her back.

"Thanks Jane. I don't know what brought it on. I think it was something I ate last night"  
"It's alright, haven't got a choice have I? Can't just leave my girlfriend when she vomits in the middle of foreplay..." After speaking, Jane reviewed her words. "Hang on, Maur, was it something I did?" Jane looked worried, but her face calmed when Maura looked back at her comically.  
"No, of course not, don't be silly"  
It was clear that this had ruined the moment and when Maura was feeling better the pair took a quick shower and headed for work.

It was only when Maura sat at her desk and looked through her diary that she noticed the date. She flicked back a couple of pages, then forward. She did maths in her head and dropped her head onto her desk.  
She was three weeks late.

Chapter 7

Maura ran her hands through her hair as she hurriedly walked to her car. She threw her bag on the seat beside her and drove as fast as her X6 would go. She arrived at the store within minutes. She grabbed her bag and rushed inside. She wandered absent minded through the aisles until she found what she was looking for. As a doctor Maura presumed that she would be able to tell if she were pregnant or not, but as she found herself staring at the range of pregnancy tests spread before her, this was apparently a false presumption. Maura must have stood there for at least a half hour before someone came over.  
"Ma'am, are you ok?"  
The speech snapped Maura out of her daze and she turned to face the assistant.  
"I'm fine, sorry, a little shell shocked I guess..."  
The shop assistant glanced as to what Maura was looking at, when she realized, she nodded and walked away. Maura noticed how long she had been away from the office and she hurriedly grabbed several tests, not bothering with brand or price, she figured they all worked the same way.  
She paid and bolted from the shop. She threw the bag of tests in her boot and drove off.

Jane wandered towards Maura's office and was surprised when she didn't find her there. Jane looked around for some sort of clue as to where Maura might be. Jane noticed Maura's diary was open on her desk, she flicked through and found today's date, it was marked but Jane was unsure as to what it might mean. Jane figured that whatever it meant it could probably be to do with where Maura was now. Jane was leaving Maura's office when her phone buzzed in its holster on her belt.  
"Rizzoli?"  
"Jane, its frost"  
"Whats up?  
"Crime scene, Salem street, you'll know which house"  
"Right, i'll be there soon"  
Jane hung up and dashed for the parking lot. She figured that Maura would probably already be at the scene and that's probably why she wasn't in her office.

Maura drove home automatically, even though she had planned on going back to work. Subconsciously she just wanted to know. She grabbed the tests from the boot and rushed inside, tripping over Bass in her hurry. Maura had already drunk three cups of coffee this morning, so she was prepared for the task ahead. Even though she knew she could always get a professional test to be certain, Maura didn't want anyone else knowing, so she got several tests to get a fair result and to make sure that there were no false negatives or positives.  
Maura got to the bathroom and did what she needed to do and then sat patiently on the side of the bath waiting for the results.

Jane arrived quickly at the crime scene and found Frost waiting at the front door to the house.  
"Frost, catch me up, I haven't got much time"  
"Ok, seems like this will be pretty simple, we're just waiting on medical" Frost finished his sentence and looked expectantly at Jane  
"Wait, Maura's not here?"  
Frost shot Jane a confused look.  
"I thought she would travel with you, I figured she was probably lagging behind you? I've been calling her phone, and I tried calling her office but she didn't pick up either?"  
"Oh, I presumed she would be here, she wasn't in her office when I went down there about a half hour ago?"  
"Nope, oh well, she's probably gone somewhere without a service? She'll get my messages and come over in a bit?"  
"Yeah I guess. Anyway, tell me some more about this case then?"  
"Well as I said before, it's pretty simple, guy was shot in the shoulder, he fell against a metal pipe on the wall, fell unconscious, and then he was shot again. Or at least that's pretty much what we can assume happened, hence why we're waiting for medical. You know how Dr Isles gets if we presume we know what happened?"  
Jane nodded and headed through the open doorway and put on some gloves.

Maura sat patiently waiting for three minutes. She spent those minutes contemplating what would happen to her life depending on the results of this test. Maura imagined what would happen if it were to be positive; what would she do? What would Jane do? Would Jane be ok with the situation? Maura couldn't even think about what would happen if Jane wasn't ok with it. Even though they had only been a couple just over a month, Maura felt certain that this relationship was the one she wanted to be in for the rest of her life. She couldn't believe she might have thrown it all away because she had too much to drink and brought a guy home.  
Maura couldn't handle thinking any further along those lines, so she wondered what would happen if it was negative. She had literally just begun to think when the little egg timer on the bathroom counter rang. It was time to know. Although she had originally been very excited and nervous for the results, she wasn't sure she even wanted to know. She let a few more minutes pass before she stood up, took a deep breath, picked up the three tests and looked.

Jane finished up pretty quickly at the crime scene and decided to head home. She drove to her flat and saw that the whole place was in darkness. She knew Maura wasn't there and Jane couldn't bear to not know where Maura was again, so Jane drove to Maura's house and was pleasantly surprised to find several lights on in her house. Jane parked up and walked by Maura's garage, Jane noticed both of Maura's cars were in the garage, so Jane wondered in the direction of Maura's front door and let herself in. Jane was quiet, but not too quiet, so as not to scare Maura with her unexpected appearance. Jane slipped round the corner in the living room and saw that the blonde was asleep on the sofa, empty wine glass by the side of her. Jane grabbed the wine glass and put it in the sink, then she grabbed some blankets and threw them over Maura, she stirred, but ultimately remained asleep. Jane left Maura asleep on the sofa, but quickly scribbled a quick note for her.

Hey gorgeous,

Good to see your awake, I put some blankets on you and left you asleep, you looked too peaceful to wake. I put your glass in the sink. I'm going to watch the game and then take a bath. Dependent on the time, you'll know where to find me, it's your choice if you want to go back to sleep on the sofa or in the bed, or if you want you can join in the bath if that's where I am.

I love you.

Jane xxx

Jane got two beers from the fridge and went to sit down in the other lounge; she watched the game, checked on Maura again and then headed for the bathroom.

Maura stirred, and then woke quietly. She noticed she had blankets on her, and that her glass had been moved. She sat up and then found the note on the table beside her. Maura checked the time and found that the game should have a few minutes ago. Maura heard running water and realized Jane must be in the bathroom. Maura lay back and then began to panic. She didn't know which bathroom Jane would use. Maura knew Jane would normally use the upstairs for a bath, because Jane knew the downstairs water was temperamental. However, since Maura was asleep downstairs, Jane might consider using the downstairs. Maura tried to listen for where the water was coming from, and eventually determined it was coming from downstairs. Maura panicked. She had left the pregnancy tests on the bathroom counter downstairs. Maura got up from the sofa, in the hopes that Jane hadn't spotted them and maybe, just maybe she could discreetly grab them and get rid. As Maura walked to the bathroom door, it opened and Jane walked out. Jane looked angry, and Maura soon knew why. She looked down at Jane's hand and saw that Jane was holding one of the pregnancy tests...

Chapter 8 (although it's technically 7)  
Maura felt her world stop when she saw what was in Jane's hand. She knew it had been a stupid mistake to bring this guy home, and an even stupider one to leave those tests where they were. Unfortunately, the results of the tests had left her dazed, and she left the bathroom a mess. She couldn't believe she'd been so stupid.

3 hours earlier -  
Maura stood up from the bath, took a deep breath and looked at the tests. All three were negative.  
Maura didn't quite know how to process this. She tried to smile, but she couldn't help but feel disappointed. She wanted children. She really did, and although she didn't want them this way, she felt lost. Maura put the tests down and walked towards her pantry. At the back was a large wine case. She looked at several bottles before choosing the correct one. She poured herself a glass and sat on the sofa. Maura began to realise what a stupid mistake she had made. She could have lost Jane. Maura couldn't even bring herself to think about that again. She sat and thought about how much better this would be for her and for Jane. However, Maura couldn't begin to consider keeping this from Jane. She knew that if she kept it from her, it would later come back up and probably ruin the relationship. Maura knew that telling Jane could possibly ruin the relationship anyway, but she couldn't keep this from her. Maura considered several ways to tell Jane, but ultimately decided a letter might be best. Maura knew that even if she could stand in her house and tell Jane about this, she knew that Jane wouldn't listen and that she would need to calm down before she would probably consider what was going on. Maura knew that even if Jane was angry, she would still have the letter for later, when Jane was calmer. Maura began to pen the letter and once she had finished it she sealed it and kissed the edge of the seal. She put it in her pocket for later. She drank the last of her wine, and cried herself to sleep on her sofa at thought of losing Jane.

"What the hell is this Maura?"  
Maura didn't know how to respond, she didn't want Jane to find out in this way.  
"Well? Are you going to stand there and look sad? Or are you going to tell me why the fuck there is three pregnancy tests on your bathroom counter?"  
Jane had started the line of questioning calmly, but now Jane was shouting across the house at Maura.  
"I'm sorry" Maura said this fairly confidently, but kept her gaze in the floor "But you should know, I didn't cheat. I wouldn't do that"  
"How do I know Maura? How do I know that? Who is it?"  
"Jane, I know you're angry, so I know you won't listen to me..."  
Jane knew Maura was about to go google on her, so she turned and paced round the room.  
"God help me Maura, if you go 'medical-google' on me..."  
"Jane, look, I 'm not going to lecture you on facts and things, I understand-"  
"You understand! Oh great. Well, then the whole fight is over because you understand" Jane yelled sarcastically.  
Maura didn't catch the sarcasm as usual and looked confused at Jane.  
"Oh, and now you don't understand sarcasm, as fucking usual. Look Maura, just tell me, who? Rip off the bandage, real quick. Who?"  
"I don't know, he was-"  
"He? So you don't even know his name? What the hell Maura? How could you do this?"  
"Jane, you have to let me finish?"  
"Why should I? I can't even look at you right now"  
"What?" Maura looked as if she'd been slapped.  
"Look, Maura, I can't even begin to explain what i'm feeling right now, other than unbelievable anger, so I think its best I leave before someone says something they shouldn't."  
"Jane-" Maura started, but stopped, defeated.  
Jane grabbed her coat and Maura walked towards the front door, to show Jane out.  
"Jane, before you go, I know you're angry, but please, when you calm down, please, please call me, or at least read this"  
Maura handed Jane the letter and watched as Jane stuffed it in her pocket and rushed out to her car. Maura stood by the front door and saw Jane angrily drive off up the street. She stood there for a few minutes before closing the door and leaning against it. She slid to the floor and curled up in a little ball and sobbed.

Jane snatched the letter from Maura and angrily shoved it in her pocket. She couldn't believe Maura would do this to her. Even though they had only been together a month, she thought Maura loved her more than this. Jane got in her car drove angrily off Maura's street. She saw in her rear view mirror that Maura was still stood at her front door. Jane got home quicker than normal, but she couldn't bring herself to get out of her car and go inside her flat. She knew that two of Maura's coats were hung by the door. She knew that there were two bottles of Maura's favourite wine in her fridge. She knew that Maura had left several pairs of underwear and spare outfits in Jane's closet, and she also knew that Maura's phone charger and some jewellery of hers sat on the bedside table. No, Jane couldn't bring herself to get out of the car and go into her flat. It reminded her too much of Maura.  
Jane drove around for a while; she turned when she felt like it, and drove across the city. When she stopped she found herself three blocks away from her parent's home. She knew her father would be out, and as much as she normally hated her mother's 'helicopter' parenting, all she wanted right now was her Ma. Jane drove to her house and watched as rain began to descend from the skies. Jane got out of her car and stood on the porch. She knocked twice and waited as the rain slowly drenched her. Her mother opened the door and took one look at her daughter before taking her inside with a hug.

After Jane had explained what happened between sobs, Angela pretty much understood her daughter's unexpected arrival. Angela sent Jane off for a shower and made her some soup. Angela reviewed the conversation and tried to make sense of everything. She sat for a while and considered what the future would hold for Jane. Eventually she heard Jane get out the shower and head into her old room. Angela dished up some soup and by the time she had got into Jane's room, Jane was already in some old pyjamas and was in bed. Jane looked up and saw what Angela was carrying.  
"Thank you Ma." Jane said solemnly.  
"It's okay, look, i know it's been a difficult evening for you and Maura, but eat this and get some rest. Tomorrow is a new day" Angela left the tray at the bottom of Jane's bed and left the room.

Angela returned an hour later to tell Jane to turn off her light, and try and sleep. To her surprise Jane had eaten the soup and was curled up asleep in an awkward position. Angela grabbed the tray, turned out the light and left. She washed up the bowl and spoon, and then went to bed herself.

 

Angela awoke early the next morning. She knew Jane would have to up for work in half an hour, so she got out of bed and went to the kitchen. She made tea and French toast and put them on a plate covered by another plate. She put the plate and mug on a tray and went to put them in Jane's room. On the way Angela remembered something Jane had said last night about a letter from Maura. Angela wasn't happy about Maura's behaviour, but Angela knew that Jane should at least read the letter. Angela grabbed it out of Jane's pocket and slipped it onto the tray.

She placed the tray on the night stand and left to get a shower.

Maura woke to find Bass walking slowly in front of her. She was still curled up by the door. She stood and walked to the bathroom. She ignored her cell on the table. She didn't want to look at it. She didn't want to get her hopes up. She looked at herself for a while in the mirror, her mascara and eyeliner in smudged lines down her face. The empty box's that used to contain the tests sat menacingly on the bathroom counter. She threw them in the trash and went to the upstairs bathroom. Jane's stuff was in there. She went to her bedroom. Jane's pyjamas were on her side of the bed. Jane's beer was in her fridge. Jane's clothes were in her closet. There were dog treats by Bass's food. Maura's house was filled with Jane, and Maura didn't know what to do. She figured after last night there probably wasn't a hope for the relationship, but just in case, Maura daren't move anything. So, Maura walked around the house ignoring anything of Jane's. She showered, ignoring Jane's strawberry conditioner sitting on the side. She dressed, trying to forget the shirts belonging to Jane. She ate, dismissing the sugar filled cereal Jane insisted on eating every morning. And she made coffee, refusing to look at the high caffeine, cheap instant coffee Jane used. Maura went to her sofa and put on a documentary, she took solace in the fact that neither her nor Jane had to work today.

Jane woke to the sound of running water. She reached for Maura, but found herself awkwardly curled up to a pillow instead. The realization of last night hit her. She turned to check her phone and found a tray on the night stand. She grabbed the tray and ignored the toast, she wasn't hungry. She drank her tea quickly, not caring that it burnt her mouth, she was too dehydrated from the crying to care. She out her mug down, and that's when she noticed the letter on the tray addressed to her. She knew what it was before she even opened it. She wasn't sure she wanted to open it, but she had too. Even though she couldn't stand the thought of Maura right now, she had to know. She tore open the top and began to read.

Jane,

I hope that this means you've been willing to hear me out. Jane I want to say first that i'm sorry, and even if you don't want to hear it. I presume that when you're reading this, you know that I thought I was pregnant. I don't know what else you will know when you read this, so let me explain. When we first discussed how we felt we nearly kissed – Jane winced at the memory – Well, nearly kissed, and then there was the crime scene, and you couldn't leave. I was upset that we had gotten so close, and then a case drew us apart. I didn't want to go home without you. I went for a drink, I was only planning on having one, but I ended up drinking more than usual, I made some bad decisions. I brought this guy home. I don't remember everything, and you know how that kind of thing works. I know you probably don't want to hear this, but we did use protection. You know how I am about that kind of thing? I regretted it so much the next morning. He left and that was it. I don't even know his name. You know the rest. I just needed to make sure I wasn't pregnant, that's it. I hope that wherever we both are when you read this, you know how sorry I am. I'm not asking for forgivness, thats yours to give, not mine to ask for. I'm just hoping that this letter will explain the situation better and help us deal with everything. I wrote this because you needed to know. I'm so sorry Jane. Please, know that I have loved you for so long, and I will continue to. This was not meant to hurt you and I'm sorry.

I love you.  
Maura

Xx

Jane didn't notice she was crying till the tears hit the page. She screwed up the letter and then unfurled it. She nearly tore it, but she knew she'd only tape it back together later. She didn't know what to do, or say. Normally she'd go and talk it over with Maura, but since this wasn't an option she wasn't sure what to do. She wiped her eyes and then got dressed. She grabbed her things and wrote her mother a note. She knew her Ma would understand.

Maura stared blankly at the screen, half watching the documentary, half waiting for the phone. She couldn't handle this. She was going crazy. She packed a bag and then grabbed her purse and keys and walked to her garage. She considered which car she wanted to use. However when she remembered her X6 would probably smell like Jane, she decided she would use her Audi. It suited where she was going anyway. She threw her overnight bag into the car and drove. It was a 4 hour drive to New York and it was a journey Maura knew well. She made a call halfway to a hotel in the city, she knew the hotel well, and the staff knew the family. The hotel normally cost around $700 a night, but when she mentioned who she was, the price was dropped to $450, which although made no difference to Maura, she could afford it anyway, the gesture was nice. She arrived at 4pm and went straight to her room. She unpacked and immediately went out afterwards. Even though it was fairly late in the afternoon, Maura had made a call to several shops in the area and mentioned she was coming down, and the shops had offered to stay open late for her. Maura drove straight to the first of the shops, and did what she knew how to do best. She consoled herself with money and shopping. As a child and teen, whenever something was wrong or Maura's parents had to leave, or they missed a recital they would buy her something. Shoe's, clothes, another pony would arrive in the stables, rather than their presence on her birthday. Now as an adult Maura did the same. She cried for a while and then shopped.

Jane had her own way of dealing with her problems. Once she got to her car she already knew where she needed to go. She headed to the shooting range and did what she did best. Everyone at the range knew by now that when Jane Rizzoli phoned up to tell them she was coming in, she'd want her own space, privacy and a lot of bullets. Jane got there and shot for a while, eventually becoming bored. She left and decided to head into work. She'd shower there, and even though it meant going into her office, Jane knew there were spare clothes of her in Maura's office.

She got to work and managed to get downstairs to the morgue without being seen. Jane knew that Maura's car hadn't been in the parking lot, so the chances of her being in her office were slim. As she had expected, the office was just as Jane had left it yesterday afternoon. Jane walked over to the cupboard in the corner. She tried to ignore everything in the room except the cupboard. Everything brought back memories. The sofa where they had made love for the first time was beside her. The desk where they had kissed and eventually made love upon was behind her, and it killed her to look at. She tried so hard to just get some clothes and get out. She opened the cupboard door and the spare outfits for Maura were there.

There were several pairs of shoes, all boxed and ordered by brand. Maura had make up and shampoo on the top shelf. Jane looked defeated. Her life was so intertwined with Maura's. She finally saw spare clothes of hers folded on a shelf towards the bottom. She grabbed them and left. She walked to the locker rooms and threw her things in her locker. She had used this locker so often since she first arrived at the station. When Maura's locker was placed next to hers she thought it was amazing, she was so happy, and even though the times when Maura used it were rare, Jane looked forward to it often. When they would come back from a crime scene and need showers, they would laugh and joke throughout the showers and getting dressed.  
Only last week they had returned to the station in the early hours of the morning and gone for a shower together. They kissed in front of these lockers, and walked the path Jane walked now into the showers.

They had stood leaned against the wall the cubicle next to Jane now, and made love. Now the whole room was only a reminder of what had been. Jane tried to forget this and shower. She finished and got dressed. Then she took the stairs to the squadroom. She wanted to waste time, because otherwise, she'd have too much time to think.

2 weeks later

Maura had been back in Boston a week. She had spent most of her time in New York shopping. She cried herself to sleep so many times while she was there. She woke up missing Jane a lot too. She couldn't shake Jane. No matter how hard she tried. She knew Jane didn't want her anymore and she could understand. Jane hadn't tried making any contact, so she figured she should probably just give up. It was over. Maura clicked the remote and the TV shut off. She was tired. She was emotionally and physically tired. She finished her wine and put her glass on the kitchen counter. She changed for bed and then climbed under the sheets. It was only 9:18pm. She lay for a while, contemplating the next day. She had taken two weeks' vacation and tomorrow it was time to go back. She knew she would have to face Jane, it was impossible not to have to. Maura played out several scenarios in her head, all ending badly. Then Maura did something she had never done before. She considered what would happen if Jane forgave her. Maura closed her eyes and played through this, and she eventually fell asleep for once, with a smile on her face.

Jane left the station pretty early that night. She had spent a lot of her nights over the past two weeks sitting at her desk staring at the ceiling for hours, until she realized the time and went home. She got in her car and drove home. She parked and headed inside. She grabbed a beer and sat on the sofa and flicked through some channels. Everything she did now was automatic. She lived her nights exactly the same now. She would have one beer, then another and another until eventually she passed out on her sofa or her bed. She would wake up the next morning with several empty bottles and a splitting headache. It was just routine now. Tonight was no different. She finished her beer and went for another. As usual, 2 hours later she was sprawled across the sofa, completely out of it.

Monday morning rolled around and Maura woke late. She checked her clock and found that it was 8:03. She'd overslept. She hadn't bothered setting her alarm recently because she was usually awake pretty early anyway. She rushed into the bathroom and grabbed a quick shower. She made coffee quickly while she cleaned her teeth and rushed into her closet whilst it cooled. She pulled an outfit from a rail and quickly put it on. She picked up her bag, coffee and keys and headed for her car.

Maura pulled out of her garage quickly, nearly forgetting to lock it after herself. She drove quickly to work and groaned inwardly when she realized Jane's car was already in its usual spot.

Jane woke early the next morning. She was surprised to find she didn't have too bad of a headache this morning. She climbed off her couch, deactivated her alarm early and headed for the shower. She had two hours till she needed to be in so she took her time. Even though she tried to get ready slowly, she was still at work a half hour early. She drove round the parking lot and to her disappointment Maura wasn't in yet. Maura hadn't been in for two weeks. Jane had considered several times to go to her house and check if she was there, but every time Jane drove by the house, she couldn't bring herself to go in there. Jane would have tried calling, but two days after Maura had gone on vacation:

She was chasing a perp down a street; she skidded round a corner and tried to grab her walkie out of her pocket. She dragged it out, but pulled her phone as well. Jane heard it hit the floor with a smash, but couldn't stop. She continued running and once the perp was caught she went back for it. She found it as a smashed mess on the floor. She picked it up and tried turning it on, it wouldn't. She tried several times to get it to work, but couldn't even get the screen to light up.

Jane relived the day in her mind as she pulled into a space. She had lost Maura's number and she didn't know how to get it back now. Jane grabbed her new phone from her holster and willed herself to remember the number. It didn't work. Jane slipped her phone back and headed into work.

Maura got out of her car and glanced at Jane's, hoping that somewhere on or in the car there would be some kind of sign as to how Jane was. She felt stupid, it was just a car. She went into to work and headed for her office. Immediately Maura noticed her room was different. Nothing looked out of place except the cupboard over in the corner, the door was open. Maura looked inside and found Jane's clothes were missing. 'Could Jane have taken them back? Was this Jane's way of officially breaking up with her?' Maura contemplated all kinds of different reasons, but without a suitable amount of evidence to back up her hypothesis, she got to work on the case's she had missed over the past two weeks.

Maura worked solidly for most of the day. She left around 1pm to go get a salad for lunch, but she made sure she went across town for it. She didn't want to run into anyone. Maura arrived back at 2pm and then continued working. At 5pm she had worked through all the post-mortem reports, sent all the samples she needed away and done an autopsy (which to her disappointment was inconclusive) Maura decided that now would be a good time to pack up and go home. By the time she reached her car she had realised she had no wine in the house and decided she would go to a bar. She didn't feel like going home quite yet, but she couldn't stay at work any longer for fear of running into someone. Maura was glad to find Jane's car still parked in its spot and she knew that she would be safe to go to the Robber for the evening.

Jane worked half-heartedly throughout the day, often thinking of Maura. She wasn't sure if she was in today. She wasn't even sure if Maura was ever coming back. She continued working, not looking up or acknowledging anyone who came into the room. Frost and Korsak knew some of what had happened, they knew there were problems between her and Maura, but they didn't know why. The guys knew best and decided to keep away and keep quiet. The only social interaction Jane had all day was when Korsak placed a coffee and sandwich on her desk before leaving for lunch, she shot him a grateful look but stayed silent and then got back on with her work. She took the coffee as soon as Korsak had left the room. It was nice coffee, but it wasn't her usual. She left the sandwich where it was. She wasn't hungry; she hadn't been hungry in a while. It occurred to her that she hadn't eaten properly for a few days so at 6:10pm she headed for the parking lot. Maura's car wasn't in its space which didn't come as a surprise for Jane. She shook her head and refused to think of Maura again. She drove out of work and headed to the robber.

By 6pm Maura was pretty drunk. She was sat in a booth ordering several drinks and making eyes at a girl across the bar. It wasn't like her, but after the past few weeks she couldn't help herself. She waited a minute to find her confidence and then went to speak to the girl.  
"Hi" Maura tried to sound sexy with that short word, but it came out a little slurred. She hoped the girl wouldn't notice.  
"Hey, can I buy you a drink..." The girl let her sentence tail off and it took Maura a few seconds to realize she was waiting for a name  
"Maura! My names Maura"  
"Well then Maura, what can I get you?"  
"I'll have a soda water with lime, I think I've had a little too much to drink so far"  
"Ok"  
The girl turned to the bar and ordered their drinks while Maura took a seat by the girl.  
"So, Maura, What brings a girl like you to a bar like this?"  
Maura considered her answer for a short while.  
"Oh, just stuff I guess...what about you? You don't look like the kind of girl who hangs out here either?"  
"Oh, stuff as well I guess, I'm Jade by the way, I think I forgot to tell you my name"  
Conversation flowed easily from there and it was only about a half hour later Maura suggested they head back to her place. Maura grabbed her coat and told Jade she'd meet her out front in a minute, as Jade wanted to go fix her make-up first. Maura walked to the front of the bar and went outside. She had been stood there for a good few minutes, imagining what was going to happen next. This was the first girl she would be with since Jane. And then it hit her. She was going to go home with another girl that wasn't Jane, and they hadn't even officially split yet. No, Maura wasn't going to be the one who did wrong first. Maura quickly walked round the corner and hailed a cab. She got in and headed home.

Jane watched Maura turn away from the robber and go round the corner. She watched her hail a cab and get in it. Jane knew it couldn't be because of her, there was no way Maura saw her. She brushed it off and decided to go into the robber.

About an hour passed and Jane had started chatting up a girl by the bar. She was nice, too nice to be in a place like this. She was dressed in a short black skirt, a simple tight white blouse and heels. She had long brown hair that fell like a waterfall across her back. She nice to look at, nice to talk to, and Jane presumed she'd be nice to sleep with. The conversation was flowing well until Jane suggested they head back to her place.  
"So, Jade, do you maybe want to take this back to my place?"  
"Sorry, no. I've already heard that one tonight, I am not falling for it again"  
Jane was confused  
"Why? What do you mean? What happened?"  
"Oh, Some cute blonde started chatting me up about an hour and a half ago, she suggested we went back to her place, I told her I would meet her out front but by the time I got there she was gone. I asked some guy outside if he'd seen her, he said she waited a few minutes, got in a cab and left. I am not doing that again"  
The whole time Jade was speaking Jane knew who the blonde was.  
"That's awful, but just out of curiosity, did the blonde give you a name?"  
"Yeah, something unusual, errr...Maura I think?"  
With that Jane bolted out of the bar leaving Jade stood there. Jane got in her car and drove; she drove to Maura's. She had to talk to her.

Chapter 11 (Although it's technically 10)

The drive to Maura's house seemed to take forever. Every light seemed to be on red. When she finally arrived it was close to 7:30 and Jane was happy to see the lights on in Maura's house. Jane sat in her car for a few minutes, contemplating what to say. She reached into her glove box and took out the letter, refreshing her memory about what exactly Maura had said. She replayed the last time they had spoken in her head. With that she got out of her car and walked up to Maura's front door.

Maura had arrived home a lot more sober than she had left the pub. She unlocked her door, took of her shoes and stroked Bass' shell lightly. She made herself some tea and headed into the downstairs bathroom and began to run herself a bath.

Maura had literally just gotten out of the bath when she heard a knock at the door. She was still naked, so she grabbed her robe of the door and wrapped herself in that. Whoever was at the door knocked again.  
"Just a minute"  
Maura raced for the door and nearly tripped on Bass and opened the door looking flustered. On the other side of the door was Jane.  
Maura looked at Jane for a long moment before moving aside, gesturing at her to step inside.  
"Thanks" Jane had tried to sound confident, but her voice came out broken. The pair stood looking awkwardly at each other, neither sure what to say.  
"Can I get you a drink?" Maura offered.  
"No, thanks, I'm driving."  
"Oh, ok."  
Jane soon realized Maura was shivering slightly.  
"Maur- do you want to go get dressed? You must be cold?"  
Maura nodded and scurried off to the bedroom. Jane followed her; she still wasn't too fond of Bass.  
Maura went to change in her closet and Jane took her opportunity.  
"Maur?"  
"Yes Jane?"  
"About tonight?"  
"What about it?"  
" I saw you leave the robber..."  
Maura walked solemnly out of her closet, dressed in yoga shorts and a white tank. She still managed to look beautiful.  
"Oh? I didn't know you were at the robber?"  
"Yeah. I didn't know you were there. I didn't even know you were back!" Jane's voice took an angry tone.  
"Well you'd know that if you bothered to make contact" Maura spat back.  
Jane seemed confused, and then remembered, Maura didn't know what happened to her phone.  
"Maur, I would have, but I don't have you number?"  
"Of course you do, don't be stupid"  
"No, I really don't. I dropped my phone a while ago when I was chasing a perp. It smashed, I had to get a new one?" Jane took her new phone out of its holster on her belt, as if to re-enforce her point.  
"Oh" came Maura's response. "I went to New York. I had to get away"  
"I guess that makes sense"  
Silence filled the room, neither had anything else to say on the matter.  
Maura broke the silence first  
"Jane, I'm sorry...I don't know if you got it, or if you read it, but I wrote you a letter, and I think it's important you-"Jane cut Maura off.  
"I read it"  
"Oh?" Maura squeaked.  
"Yeah. I do understand the situation Maura, and I'm not angry anymore. I understand"  
"You do?" Maura looked up happily, but her smile disappeared when she saw Jane was not looking happy.  
"I get it, we weren't together, technically"  
"Jane, you don't know how happy this makes me!"  
The blonde wrapped her arms around the detective and after a couple of seconds, the detective settled into the embrace.  
After this went on for a couple of minutes, Jane coughed uncomfortably.  
"Oh, sorry"  
Maura stepped back and rubbed the back of her neck.  
Jane's stomach growled and made the ME giggle.  
"I guess maybe we should get some food?"  
"That sounds great Maur, I haven't eaten in a while"  
Jane ordered pizza and settled on the sofa with Maura, happy to have this intimacy back. She knew this would be a long road, and they had a lot a head of them, but she was happy with this.

After the pizza had been eaten and the box discarded on the floor somewhere, Maura shifted uncomfortably on the sofa. Out of habit Jane wrapped her arm around the ME and allowed the smaller woman settled into her arms.

It was early when Jane awoke, maybe 2am? She was uncomfortable and then she realized she had fallen asleep on the sofa, Maura in her arms. Damn. Jane hadn't intended staying the night. She shifted awkwardly and Maura stirred.  
"Maura? We fell asleep on the sofa"  
"Hmmmphh" Came the reply.  
"Come on Maur, we both have work tomorrow, let's get you to bed."  
Jane knew Maura was still half asleep as they walked slowly to Maura's bedroom. Maura sleepily sat on her bed and yawned.  
"Come on sleepy; let's get some pj's on you."  
Maura sleepily took her tank top off. It wasn't until that moment Jane realised Maura hadn't been wearing a bra. And Jane wasn't entirely sure Maura realised either. Jane realised after a minute or two that she had been staring and she turned quickly, throwing a pj top at Maura, who put it on behind her.  
"Jane, it's ok. You've seen me shirtless before?" Maura questioned, a little more awake now.  
"I know, it's just..."Jane tailed off.  
"What?"  
"I look at you, like that and all I want is-"  
"Is what Jane?" by this time Maura had stood up and was behind Jane. Maura wrapped her hands around the detectives' waist and Jane felt the blondes' nipples pressing into her back.  
"Maura!" Jane pulled away from the embrace and Maura looked disappointed.  
"I'm sorry Jane, I just thought..."  
With that Maura turned round and got into bed. Jane sighed sadly and decided it best to go sleep in the guest room.

Jane got there and shed her clothes, decided to sleep in her underwear. She climbed into bed and closed her eyes. She tried to sleep, but all she could think of was Maura, of what would have happened if she had just turned and kissed Maura, instead of leaving. After a little while of imagining this Jane could feel herself getting aroused. Damn. Jane got out of bed and padded down the landing to Maura's room. When she got there she found the blonde laid awake, lost in thought.

"Maura?"  
Maura turned and faced Jane.  
"Jane...is everything ok?" it was then that Maura noticed Jane was only in her underwear, and she was noticeably aroused. Jane did not need to respond to Maura's question.  
"Oh...I see."

With that Jane walked over to Maura's bed and kissed her passionately. Maura pulled Jane down on top of her and then pushed her onto her side. The two made out like teenagers for a while, both too nervous to take the next step. Jane decided to that she needed this too much, so she slipped her thumbs into Maura's yoga shorts and pulled them down her legs. Maura squirmed in anticipation. Neither one of them wanted this to be long nor drawn out. They were both just looking for a release. Jane repositioned herself in-between Maura's legs and slipped her thumbs into the top of Maura's underwear and slid them down. She tossed them over her shoulder and stared at what was in front of her. She traced patterns up and down Maura's inner thighs with her tongue and heard the blonde cry out.

Jane knew she was on the right track and she got teasingly closer to Maura's pussy. Maura is growing impatient and edges herself towards Jane. Jane lets the appetising sight get the better of her and she takes her tongue and starts drawing circles on Maura's clit. Maura begins to moan and so Jane takes two fingers and simply traces near Maura's core. Maura shifts downwards and moans wildly when she finds Jane's fingers inside of her. Jane begins a steady pace and realises it won't be long until Maura comes. Jane alternates the patterns she draws with her tongue before removing her tongue altogether. She hears a slightly more disappointed moan from Maura and so Jane places her thumb on Maura's clit and continued with the circles. Jane sits up to view Maura, who currently has her eyes closed, bathed in pleasure. Jane smiles and takes one of Maura's nipples in her mouth. Jane sees that Maura clearly enjoys this, so she stops her hands teasingly. Maura's eyes fly open and look directly at Jane, pleadingly.  
"Jane, J-Jane, please! I-I'm so c-c-close"  
Jane takes pity and thrusts into Maura and quickly finds her that special spot. Jane speeds up her fingers and takes the other nipple into her mouth. Maura's moans become louder and Jane knows she is near. All Jane does is quickly let go of Maura's nipple and blow lightly on her clit and Maura is sent over the edge. Maura comes loudly, with a series of "Oh gods", and Oh "Jane's".

Jane continues thrusting slowly into Maura, dragging out the pleasure for as long as she can. Eventually Jane sits back on her heels between Maura's legs. Maura opens her eyes and looks directly at Jane, who looks a little uncomfortable. Giving Maura pleasure like that had made Jane increasingly aroused. Maura decided to take pity on Jane and she leaned up to kiss the detective.

Maura pulled Jane down and then flipped them so she was on top. She slid her fingers into the detective panties and pushed them down and onto the floor with some help from Jane. Maura traced down Jane's body, placing kisses in random places. She kissed softly round the scar on Jane's abdomen and kept going down. Maura inhaled the smell of Jane's sex and knew it wouldn't take long to get Jane off tonight. She had a feeling it had been a while for the detective. Jane began to squirm and whine as Maura blew lightly on her clit. Jane edged herself closer the ME's mouth. Maura got closer and flicked Jane's clit with her tongue, gaining a moan from Jane. Maura traced around Jane's inner thighs with her fingers and then suddenly slipped two inside of Jane. Jane moaned loudly and Maura was suddenly glad Angela was a heavy sleeper. Maura rocked her fingers inside Jane at a steady pace, and kissed all the way up Jane's body. Jane arched into Maura and continued moaning.  
Maura kissed the detectives lips, allowing her to moan into her mouth. Maura kissed Jane's neck, earning another rather loud moan from the other woman. Maura felt Jane began to tighten around her fingers and knew she was close. Maura slipped down and licked Jane's clit and that was it. Jane came hard and fast. Maura slipped her fingers out and kissed Jane once it was over.  
"Wow" Jane muttered breathlessly  
"Yeah?"  
Maura lay down next to the detective.  
"Jane?"  
"Yes Maura?"  
"Thank you"

With that Jane took Maura into her arms and Maura fell asleep pretty quickly. Jane however laid awake still. She was happy, but she still couldn't be 100% sure she made the right decision. She lay awake and thought back to a few weeks ago. What would have happened if Maura was pregnant, or if Jane hadn't left? Jane lay awake for a few hours, and at 5:37am she kissed Maura's forehead and got out of bed.Jane wandered through Maura's house silently. She replayed the earlier events over again in her head. She loved Maura greatly, but she couldn't drop this. She wanted to carry on the relationship pretending nothing happened, but she couldn't. She paced round Maura's kitchen uncomfortably. She glanced at the downstairs bathroom, where she had found the tests. She remembered how she felt. She had felt betrayed, she felt angry. Jane sat on a stool by the counter, she was tired. She hadn't slept properly in weeks. Every time she fell asleep she would wake up uncomfortable, looking for Maura. Each time she found herself in an empty room yelling Maura's name into the silence. Jane had spent the past week and half trying her best to sleep through the night. It wasn't going to happen. She missed Maura more than anything, but now that she had her back, she couldn't understand why she was still having problems sleeping. It made no sense. Jane trudged to the guest room, not wanting to disturb Maura. She climbed into bed and closed her eyes. Within a few minutes, Jane was finally asleep.

Maura awoke to the sound of her name being yelled. She glanced around her room looking for Jane. When she couldn't find her Maura grabbed Jane's gun off the nightstand. Maura couldn't work the thing, and just holding it made her uncomfortable. Maura walked through the house trying to find the source of the yelling. She soon realised that it was Jane, which comforted her and yet still managed to scare her more. Maura tried to walk silently through the house, but she was cold and her teeth were beginning to chatter. Maura walked down the hallway to the guest room and found Jane asleep, curled up uncomfortably, screaming her name.  
"Jane?"  
Jane's eyes shot open and Maura jumped back and dropped the gun. Jane sat up properly and took in what had happened.  
"Christ Maura! Be more careful next time" Jane angrily muttered.  
Maura looked hurt. She chalked Jane's angriness up to a lack of sleep, but that comment was still unnecessary.  
"I'm sorry Jane, you scared me!"  
"Yeah well..." Jane let her words trail off; she knew it better than to say what she was thinking.  
"Yeah well what Jane?"  
"Nothing Maur, come on, let's go back to sleep for an hour or so, yeah?"  
"No Jane, not till you finish your sentence?"  
Jane looked at Maura defiantly. Maura returned the glare; however, knowing Jane was stubborn and after nearly losing her once before, Maura backed down.  
"Fine, why don't you get some breakfast. I need a shower."  
Maura turned away, tears pricking her eyes.  
Jane saw the hurt in Maura's eyes before she left and so she beckoned her over. Maura sat in Jane's lap and Jane soothed her. Maura's breathing began to slow and the pair calmed down. Maura leaned in for a proper hug and Jane kissed her forehead before accepting the embrace.

It was a little after 6am when Maura finally looked at the clock.

"Jane?"  
"Yes Maur?"  
"Its 6"  
"I guess we have to get ready then" Jane said half-heartedly  
Maura groaned and stood before walking into the en-suite. Jane quickly followed.  
"Jane..."  
"Yes Maur?" Jane purred innocently.  
"Why do you think I'm going to let you shower with me?"  
"Because..."Jane thought for a moment before simply replying "We're short on time and you're horny"  
Maura smirked and closed the bathroom door behind the two of them.

Both Jane and Maura knew their relationship was far from perfect, and they had a lot to deal with in the future, but they were determined not to stop now.

-the end.


End file.
